Week 2

So it has been 2013 for a week now!  I still haven’t decided whether to say two-thousand-and-thirteen or the slightly more concise twenty-thirteen.

So I want to post every week this year.  During this week I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to write and sort of formulating the ideas in my head so I can just write it and it’s done!

This isn’t the post I thought it was going to be.

I thought I’d be writing about how getting up early really impacts on the whole day, about how I feel much better and much more organised.

I do still believe that getting up earlier results in these things – I feel as organised as I could be, the flat is clean & tidy, I’ve had time to cook healthy and somewhat interesting meals, I’ve even been running a few times.  But I think what I was looking for is a sense of control.

Control over how I organise my time, control over the money that comes in, and the gigs I’m offered.  But I’ve been really unsettled at just how out of control I have felt recently.  Take for example, a pupil who, for whatever reason, no longer wants lessons.  Fair enough but I then have to find that money from somewhere else – usually just as I’m reaching some sort of equilibrium between income and spending, something happens to tip the balance, having to buy a new car for example, or suddenly receiving a bill I’d forgotten about.

There is also the fact that I’m still owed money from gigs I did over Christmas – I hate that I have to nag to be paid in a reasonable amount of time.  I’d actually rather they give me a cheque on the day which is dated in the future – at least then it’s in my hands ready to be put in the bank.

I hate living from month to month like this – it’s only half a life!  Only just making enough to get by – I need something else, a part time job somewhere – just something during the day, during the week while I’m not really doing anything apart from pottering around trying to sort my life out.  I have no money for socialising or clothes or anything really that’s not a bill or rent or a car payment.  I know people younger than me who have bought their own property – wow – that’s just amazing.  I wish I was in that situation.

I don’t want to put a downer on anyone who reads this!  But posts like this are important – this is not an easy career to go into – I’m still deciding if it’s one I even want to stay in for the long term.


3 thoughts on “Week 2

  1. Great insight that it’s the control issue that is really at the forefront right now. I think you are looking at the reality of life as a free-lance musician, and it is perfectly ok to be evaluating if this is the life you want. But I’ll give you one other thing to think about – there is not as much control as you might think when you have a regular job. Perhaps your income would be more predictable, but the unexpected expenses continue. There will still be people your age making more and buying more than you can – all those disgusting business majors will rack it in way more than we artistic types will ever hope to. And you lose control of your time for however many hours per week you are working. I am wondering if your school has a placement office that alums can use, where there would be someone to help you map out strategies to get more music work? That would be something to do during the day, besides pottering about. I think if you saw yourself planning and taking steps towards getting auditions, students, and gigs you might not feel at such loose ends. Hang in there, Angelina!

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