So it has been 2013 for a week now! I still haven’t decided whether to say two-thousand-and-thirteen or the slightly more concise twenty-thirteen.
So I want to post every week this year. During this week I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to write and sort of formulating the ideas in my head so I can just write it and it’s done!
This isn’t the post I thought it was going to be.
I thought I’d be writing about how getting up early really impacts on the whole day, about how I feel much better and much more organised.
I do still believe that getting up earlier results in these things – I feel as organised as I could be, the flat is clean & tidy, I’ve had time to cook healthy and somewhat interesting meals, I’ve even been running a few times. But I think what I was looking for is a sense of control.
Control over how I organise my time, control over the money that comes in, and the gigs I’m offered. But I’ve been really unsettled at just how out of control I have felt recently. Take for example, a pupil who, for whatever reason, no longer wants lessons. Fair enough but I then have to find that money from somewhere else – usually just as I’m reaching some sort of equilibrium between income and spending, something happens to tip the balance, having to buy a new car for example, or suddenly receiving a bill I’d forgotten about.
There is also the fact that I’m still owed money from gigs I did over Christmas – I hate that I have to nag to be paid in a reasonable amount of time. I’d actually rather they give me a cheque on the day which is dated in the future – at least then it’s in my hands ready to be put in the bank.
I hate living from month to month like this – it’s only half a life! Only just making enough to get by – I need something else, a part time job somewhere – just something during the day, during the week while I’m not really doing anything apart from pottering around trying to sort my life out. I have no money for socialising or clothes or anything really that’s not a bill or rent or a car payment. I know people younger than me who have bought their own property – wow – that’s just amazing. I wish I was in that situation.
I don’t want to put a downer on anyone who reads this! But posts like this are important – this is not an easy career to go into – I’m still deciding if it’s one I even want to stay in for the long term.